


Heaven Couldn't Wait For You

by youretheone



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-29
Updated: 2014-04-29
Packaged: 2018-01-17 11:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1386499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youretheone/pseuds/youretheone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things are finally looking up for Mike, that is until a life-changing visit to the doctor sends him and Harvey on an eye-opening adventure of mutual discovery, leading to revelations neither thought possible. </p><p>Based on A Little Bit Of Heaven(2011).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You're my back bone

**Author's Note:**

> There will be individual chapter warnings to prevent spoilers, so be aware!

Mike was pretty happy with his life these days, why shouldn’t he be?

He was a senior associate and was making some real money, he had great friends, for once there was no real threat to the firm, he had an awesome apartment and no one was currently trying to spill his secret.

The one thing he didn’t have was someone to share all that with. He and Rachel had broken up about 18 months ago, they had just grown apart and she’d found a new guy, Jason, at Columbia. And yes, it had literally sucked at the time, and there had been yelling and arguments, but they had been able to get past it. They were still good friends though.

They came to the agreement to sell their apartment, Rachel had insisted that he’d keep it, but Mike just wanted a fresh start. So, with half the money he got when selling their apartment, plus the Christmas bonus (thank you very much, Harvey) he’d found a great place in Manhattan, not too far from work. So yes, life was looking up, even if he didn’t have a girlfriend anymore.

 _"I'm here to tell you that whoever told you that you had to fall in love to get your happy ending, was wrong."_ Mike had said to himself in the mirror one day, and decided to live by that from now on. 

“Shit.” He muttered when he saw the alarm clock on his nightstand. He was gonna be so late. He hurryingly got out of bed, tangling himself in the sheets, before running over to his closet and throwing on a suit in a hurry. Damn it, he needed to go to the dry cleaners this weekend. Mike grabbed his suitcase and ran out the door and down the stairs of the apartment building, struggling with his bike lock for a second before he was on his way towards Pearson Specter.

“Shit, shit, shit.” He continued muttering under his breath the whole way there.

When he finally got there, he jumped into an elevator that was about to close and caught his breath. He felt terrible, he should work out more.

“Oh great.” He whispered to himself, ignoring the other people in the elevator, as he took a look in the mirror. He was flustered, his hair was sticking out, his tie wasn’t straight and his shirt was like, halfway tucked in. As he made his way towards Harvey’s office, he tried his best to make himself presentable, but realized he hadn’t done a very good job when he saw the look on Donna’s face once he reached her desk.

“For god’s sake, Mike.” She said as she got up from her chair and tried working her miracle on him.

“I know, my alarm didn’t go off, and I couldn’t find my phone.” He said and she just looked at him like a disappointed mother.

Then suddenly Harvey, Jessica and Louis was right there and Mike almost jumped out of his skin as they breezed past him.

“Nice of us to join us, Mike.” Harvey said. Damn, he was angry.

“Sorry.” Mike apologized as he went after them into Harvey’s office, he didn’t even bother coming up with excuses, he’d learn by now that unless there was a really good one, neither of them wanted to hear it.

“Do you have any idea the importance of this meeting?” Jessica asked him, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

Mike nodded “Yes.”

“Then why are you thirty minutes late?” Louis asked, clearly as irritated as Jessica was.

Mike knew he couldn’t expect Harvey to back him up on this either.

“Because I was busy saving your asses.” He said “Pardon my term.” Quickly followed as he looked to Jessica before digging up a file from his briefcase and handing it over to her. She glanced at the pages for a little while before smirking at him and handing the file over to Harvey for him and Louis to take a look at.

“Fine, I won’t fire you just yet.” Mike grinned at that.

Louis looked a little confused “Where the hell did you get this?”

“Are you sure you wanna know?”

Louis thought about that for a second “No, I’m good.”

“Come on.” Harvey said “You can be in the meeting.”

Mike gave himself a mental high five as they made their way to the conference room, giving Donna a little wink as he walked by her desk, she just shook her head in disbelief.

“We’ll be right in.” Harvey said once they reached the glass doors, Jessica just smirked knowingly as she and Louis entered the room.

“Harvey wha-“

“You know, there will come a day when you oversleep and you won’t have a cheeky comeback to get you out of trouble.” Harvey said. Damn it, he was becoming predictable.

“Isn’t that what I have you for?” Mike answered, cheekily.

Harvey rolled his eyes “Just get in there, will you?”

“Yes, sir!”

**

“God, I gotta say something.” Donna confessed, sipping on her double-shot caramel soy latte, Mike had gotten her.

“What?” Mike asked, leaning casually against her desk as he skimmed through the files she had copied for Harvey.

“This senior associate thing has made you scrawnier.” She remarked.

“No.” he said in disbelief and looked down at himself, it was true though, his suits did feel a little bigger these days.

There was just so much stress and a lot more cases, and he was really trying to prove to everyone that he was worth the promotion he’d just gotten.

“Yeah.” She replied, pointing at him “You should eat more.”

“I do eat.”

“I mean something with nutrition.” She said and he flicked the papers in her face.

Jessica walked by and offered him a smile; she’d been genuinely nice to him the whole week after he’d pretty much saved the firm millions of dollars with his loophole.

“Seriously though, Mike.” Donna said and turned he turned his attention back to her “You should get checked out, you look like shit.”

Mike’s smile fell from his face.

**

He did go to the doctor though, which he pretty much hated. It wasn’t just that he didn’t like hospitals or that very much, because he really didn’t, it was also the fact that when he paid for this with the health insurance he got from work, he was once again reminded that he was a fraud. That there were people out there without jobs and without insurance that couldn’t just get a check- up if they weren’t feeling well, but he had cheated his way into the system.

He tried to shake that thought away, Harvey had told him time and again that he’d earned it, but sometimes he was just painfully reminded that he shouldn’t be where he was.

“So you’ve experienced some weight loss and some blood in your stool?” The doctor asked as he pressed gently on Mike’s stomach, Mike nodded, just before the doctor pressed on a spot that hurt like hell and Mike winced.

“Okay, Micheal, we’re gonna need to do some more tests.” Was all the doctor said then.

 

**

A few days later, after a late night of preparations that Mike really didn’t want a repeat of, like ever, he was getting ready for a colonoscopy. He remembered reading and signing the document, that he understood the risks, and then everything went fuzzy and black.

When he woke up again he felt groggy, and the first face he saw was the doctor’s.

“Hey, you’re awake.” She said.

“Who are you?” Mike asked at once, his mouth felt dry and weird.

She smiled “Lauren Nichols, your doctor.”

“Oh right.” Mike said with a smile, and looked around, he was at the hospital.

Lauren told him that everything went fine and that they should get some results in a couple of days. Mike fell asleep again.

**

Next Friday, he was out with Louis, Rachel, Harvey and Donna, like usual. Whenever they didn’t have a huge case they had to work on all through the weekend, they got together for dinner. It had started out as something Mike and Donna would do, he couldn’t even remember why.

Then Harvey had joined, probably because he was jealous that either Donna and Mike could function without him. They didn’t have the heart to tell them they managed just fine. Then Louis had gotten a whiff of this and joined one night and it had sort of become tradition. Whenever Sheila was in town, she would join them as well.

Rachel wasn’t always with them though, but she’d just finished up a paper and wanted a night off from reading, sometimes Jessica would even join on the nights that she was in a good mood.

Louis and Harvey was reminiscing an old prank that Harvey had pulled on Louis back in their associate days, and Donna was practically laughing her ass off, when Mike cut in.

“So, I have cancer.” He said, way too casual, and everyone stopped laughing, and just looked at him.

“What?” Louis asked, like he thought Mike was joking or something.

“Yeah, remember I wasn’t feeling too hot and I went to the doctor?” Mike asked “You were pissed because I missed that lecture.” He said and nodded towards Louis with a smile

“Well, turns out I have colon cancer.”

“But-“

“Yeah, I’m meeting with this specialist next week, head of the oncology department at the hospital.” Mike said “So, we’ll see, now, who wants dessert?”


	2. You're my cornerstone

He spent that Saturday avoiding everyone he knew, he answered the calls from Donna, Harvey, Rachel, and Louis, but he kept the conversations short. He just told them not to tell anyone and promised he was doing okay.   
Sunday evening, he had just put on a Queen collections album on the record player when he heard the doorbell ring, he sighed and got up from his place on the couch and went over to the door.

“Who is it?”

“Open the door.”

Donna.

Mike just sighed before opening the door “Look, Donna, I don’t- Is that pizza from Ray’s?”

Donna just nodded and made her way through the door and into the kitchen/living room area of his apartment.

“By all means.” Mike said sarcastically as he took the slice of pizza and napkin that Donna offered him, leaning against the kitchen counter, ignoring her remark about how bad the pizza was for him. 

“What are you gonna tell Jessica?” She asked.

“I told her I had mono, I’d be working from home.” Mike answered

“Right.” Donna said “You know how she loves those lies you feed here.”

“Spare me the lecture, Paulsen.” Mike said “I don’t want anyone else from work to know right now, okay?”

“Okay.” Donna replied and they just stood there for a little while before Donna started humming along to the song that was playing.

Mike just grinned “See, everybody likes Queens, Harvey’s crazy.”

“He never said he didn’t like them.” Donna pointed out and winked at him.

They may or may not have gotten drunk off the two six-packs of beers Mike had in the fridge, and had an air guitar competition to Bohemian Rhapsody. 

**

“You there alone?” Harvey asked, when he’d called Mike from work a couple of days later.

“Yeah, it’s no problem.” Mike answered as he looked around the waiting room. He was going to have to go through this treatment a lot, so it wasn’t like he should get used to   
having a baby sitter.

“Yeah, it’s only cancer.” Harvey said jokingly.

“You mock my pain.” Mike replied with a smile, hoping that Harvey got the joke.

“Life is pain, anyone who says differently is selling something.”

Mike chuckled into the phone.

“I wish you’d told me before everyone else.” Harvey said, his voice serious.

“Right, sorry about that.” He said.   
He actually did feel pretty bad about it though, Harvey was always there for him, no matter what and if Harvey had been the one who’d been sick and he’d dropped the bomb on him like that, he would have been pissed.

His name was called “Gotta go, wish me luck.”

“You don’t need it, you’re gonna do great.”

**

Mike had fallen asleep on the bathroom floor after a late night of throwing up. He’d been by work a couple of days before to pick up some files that needed proof-reading, he was pretty sure Louis had only given him that cause he knew Mike needed to keep busy, but he still appreciated it.

He’d run into Jessica, who had gotten a little irritated that he’d come to work cause mono was contagious, and told him he looked like shit.  
Afterwards he’d gotten drinks with Rachel, he’d asked her how things were going with Jason and she had lit up and told him all about how well it had gone when she’d met his parents, which Mike was strangely okay with, what he hated was that she had apologized afterwards. It wasn’t that she’d apologized for being inconsiderate, it was that she had apologized because she felt sorry for him. She was happy, he was sick. Kinda sucked.  
She told him that he needed to focus on getting better, not work, or Harvey or anything else. He just smiled comfortingly at her.

When he finally got up from the floor, he got dressed and went for a walk. He walked down the streets, and through the park, appreciating everything and taking it in, in a way he   
hadn’t been able to in way too long.

He ended up in an old bar he hadn’t been to in long time, near the house where he’d lived with his parents before they died. 

He’d found a table and sat down and listened to the jazz music, smiling to himself.   
Mike looked over to see Harvey standing at the bar, once he reached eye contact he gestured for him to come over.  
He didn’t even know why he had called him to come meet him. Guess it had become a habit, whenever he was insecure or felt lost, Harvey was always the one to help him out. 

“They’re great, huh?” Mike asked and pointed the stage.

“Yeah, I like them.” Harvey said as he sat down and placed his beer on the table.

Mike should probably have thanked Harvey for coming, but he didn’t.

“He’s been performing since he was like, eight.” Mike said then and cocked his head towards the man playing the piano and singing.

“Really?” Harvey said and glanced over at the stage “You come here a lot?”

Mike shrugged his shoulders and took a sip of his drink, he probably shouldn’t be drinking so much, especially with the diet had, but…

“Used to.”

“So what have you been up to this week?” Harvey asked “Except getting my assistant drunk, I mean?”

Mike chuckled, imagining Donna showing up with a hangover on work on Monday. She would be the only person who could actually pull that look off.

“Yeah, not sorry about that.” Mike said “Well, you know, proof reading for Louis, doctor appointments, oh, I had drinks with Rachel.”

“How did that go?” Harvey asked.

“Fine, I guess.” He said.

Just as Harvey was about to open his mouth to reply, Mike cut him off “You wanna get out of here?”

They got coffee from a cart down the street, and they just kept walking.

“Hey, just let me know if you like, have somewhere you need to be or anything.” Mike said suddenly and Harvey smiled.

“You trying to get rid of me?”

Mike just smiled back “Hey, can I ask you a personal question?”

“What do you think?”

Mike gave him a look, and Harvey caved with a groan “Fine, what?”

“What happened with you and Scottie?”

Harvey looked surprised at that question, but Mike was curious. He hadn’t talked about it, just told Mike they’d broken up and that Scottie had taken a job offer in LA, a couple of months later, his own relationship with Rachel had ended. Maybe they were both cursed on the relationship front?  
Maybe that was why he was wondering, after the talk he’d had with Rachel.

“We couldn’t see eye to eye.” Harvey explained “Communication problems, trust issues, I think it all started when I gave Louis that case.”

“Well, I’m gonna assume she wanted to know why you owed Louis a favor.” Mike said “Because of me, because of my secret.”

“Mike, don’t flatter yourself.” Harvey said “I knew damn well what I got myself into when I entered a relationship, besides, we were always working, we never saw each other if it   
wasn’t in passing at the office, it wouldn’t have worked out either way.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Stop sulking.” Harvey said and elbowed him carefully in his side. “Now, what about you? You haven’t dated anyone since Rachel.”

“Wow, Harvey Specter, asking me about my personal life, actually caring.” Mike mocked.

“I was trying to be polite.” Harvey said “Now here’s your chance, spill.”

“I don’t need to be in a relationship.” Mike said, shrugging it off. 

“Good, then I don’t have to worry about you being so god damn in love that you can’t keep your trap shut.”

“Shut up.” Mike said on a laugh as he almost pushed Harvey off the sidewalk.


	3. You're my crutch when my legs stop moving.

Louis was definitely the most annoying of the bunch. He showed up at Mike’s apartment, whenever he felt like it, Mike should never have given him that emergency key. He cooked him all this food with lots of protein, ranted about Mike’s sucky diet, and brought him all kinds of gross stuff that he’d gotten from the health store, like roots and stuff that Mike felt sick just smelling. This 'treat your body like a tempel' stuff sucked. 

“I’m gonna arrange for you to see a nutritionist.” Louis said “And there’s this new diet, it’s supposed to do wonders for you digestive system.”

Mike was barely listening as he was laying on the couch with a blanket covering him, watching TV, while Louis was in the kitchen making him a steak. “I don’t want any healy-feely shit.” Mike stated, getting annoyed at the other man. “Back off, please.”

Louis gave him a look before going back to preparing his meal.

**

His next doctor’s appointment had sucked, to say the least. Both Dr. Nichols and the specialist and head of the department, Dr. Sanders, was there. Which Mike understood meant bad news. As usual, he was asked if anyone was with him, he shook his head. The chemotherapy hadn’t been working and the tumors were continuing to grow. Mike had asked what they were gonna do. They had suggested a clinical trial that had had some success, but typically, with patients who had better results from chemo. Mike felt a little dizzy at these news, especially once he was explained how aggressive the treatment was and how extreme the side effects were. He was getting injections in his the affected areas two times a week; Mike took a deep breath and agreed to the treatment.

“Yeah, we should do it, absolutely.”

Louis and Donna came over for dinner that night, Louis brought over groceries that should last throughout the week, and cocked a meal that Mike was almost able to finish. Donna brought him water and rubbed his back when he threw it all up again. She also texted Harvey. So naturally, Harvey had insisted on coming with Mike to the hospital the day of his first treatment.

“Can he go home today?” He asked as Dr. Sanders continued drawing marks on Mike’s stomach.

“Depends on how he responds to the treatment.” The doctor answered, not really paying that much attention to Harvey, which Mike found both unsettling and amusing at the same time.

Mike hissed as the doctor made the marks, his stomach even more sensitive than usual. Harvey looked at him with worry.

“You okay, Mike?” he asked and Mike offered him a smile.

“Yeah, you should get back to work.”

“I took the day off.”

“You’re managing partner.” Mike pointed out, and Harvey cocked his head to the side.

“Good thing we have two of those then.” He replied stubbornly.

“Am I gonna lose my hair?” Mike suddenly asked, and the doctor shook his head.

“No, it’ll be fine.” Harvey was told to leave the room, and come back after the procedure.

Mike didn’t remember much of the procedure or the night that followed. He only remembered shivering and crying out in pain for hours after the procedure was done, and Harvey never leaving his side, as he shushed him comfortingly and dried his sweaty forehead.

When he woke up to see Harvey had fallen asleep with his head buried in his arms on Mike’s hospital bed, he knew he would never be able to describe how he felt about the other man in that moment.

After Harvey insisted on sleeping on his couch the first night back from the hospital, Mike realized that he needed to tell Jessica. It was one thing that he was lying to her, but he didn’t want Harvey to have to carry another lie for him.

**

“So, yeah.” Was all he’d said as he finished explaining himself to Jessica.

“Cancer?”

“Yup.” Mike said as he nodded and clapped his hands together, he felt pretty nasty, his suit was too big and stuffy at the same time and he really wanted to go back to his sweatpants.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Worried, I suppose.” She didn’t ask why, and she didn’t need to.

They then started discussing insurance, which was okay by Mike, until the words “life insurance” was mentioned. He needed to get out of there.

So because of the company’s policy for workers with life threatening deceases, he cashed out his life-insurance and that Saturday, he took Rachel, Donna and Louis shopping.

It was actually a very good day, the girls looked like they were having fun for a while there, picking out purses and sunglasses, and high heels. Mike actually enjoyed them trying on stuff and coming out from the dressing rooms like they were about to walk on a runway.

Rachel had left early though, claiming that she was tired, but told him that he and Donna should have fun. Louis suggested that they should go buy some new suits for Mike too, since he was swimming in his old ones, Mike had snapped and told him that he was walking around in a dream-haze, thinking that some gross plants and some new suits were going to cure his cancer. Mike had just sighed as Louis bit his lip and walked away.

Donna told him it had been terrible, and Mike felt bad, he was about to go apologize when he felt a searing pain in his stomach and he fell to the floor right there. He was groaning in pain as Donna tried to soothe him, as Louis made their driver pull up in front of the building so they could take Mike to the hospital.

**

“Is he going to be alright?” Donna asked as the nurses was getting everything set up for Mike.

“He’s dehydrated, needs some saline.” A nurse answered with a smile.

“You know that shop till you drop is only an expression, right?”

“What the hell are you doing here?” Mike asked as Harvey came through the doors.

“Donna called me.” Harvey explained and Mike made sure to give the woman the stink eye, she just blew him a kiss in return.

Donna and Louis was about to go get some coffee then, when Mike pointed out that he was fine and they didn’t really need to be there. They argued for a bit, but Harvey said he’d stay and take Mike home. Mike wanted to argue that as well, but Donna told him either Harvey stayed or she would, and Harvey had a car, so.

When he was ready to go home, he texted Donna so she wouldn’t worry. Harvey walked Mike all the way to the door of his apartment, telling Ray to wait for him outside.

“I could have taken an elevator ride alone, Harvey.” Mike said as he found his keys and opened the door.

“I’m not sure you’re competent of doing anything alone.” Harvey joked.

“Well, thanks.” Mike said and waved him off, but Harvey grabbed his arm.

“There’s this charity thing tomorrow, at noon.” Harvey said “I know, short notice and all that-“

“Are you asking me out?” Mike joked and Harvey just looked sternly at him.

“Pearson Specter has to make an appearance; Jessica said I had to be there as well.” Harvey said “It’s gonna be boring, formal-wear, not sure if you like to dress up these days, but could be good for you.”

Mike did like the idea of going out and feeling like a normal person again. “Sure it won’t ruin your mojo with a cancer patient by your side?”

“Definitely not.” Harvey said “Nothing can ruin my mojo.”

Mike smiled “I’ll see how I feel tomorrow.”

“Yeah, sure.” Harvey said with a smile.

“Good night, Harvey.”

“Night, Mike.” Mike couldn’t help but lean against the door and grin to himself.


	4. You're my head start

The next day, he got up, took a shower, shaved, and dressed. He found the smallest suit he owned and put it on, it was still a little big, but he did not look too ridiculous. He spent way too long trying to fix his hair and make his appearance look as good as possible, before finding a cab to take him to the charity event. It was on the east side, on a rooftop.

Mike would never stop being amazed by New York. One second you’re in the middle of busy traffic, the next you were at a rooftop event, with a great view and fake grass under your feet.

He spotted Harvey near the bar, and there was a familiar feeling in his chest, like a warmth that spread whenever that man was around, that had been growing these last few weeks. He guessed it was the feeling of safety that Harvey always brought with him.

“Hey, Goose, you big stud.” He said as he approached him.

“That’s me, honey.” Harvey answered, before even turning around. “You made it, I’m glad.”

“Thanks.” Mike said and took a look around “I’m gonna assume you were expecting it since my name was on the guest list as your plus one.”

“Well, I had my suspicions.” Harvey said “Drink?”

Mike grinned “Yes, please!” he said desperately and Harvey laughed as he guided him towards the bar.

They were in the middle of a quote-off, when Jessica joined them. “Mike, Harvey.” She said gracefully, taking a sip of her champagne.

“Hey, Jessica.” Harvey said “You look nice.”

Mike was a hundred percent sure that he was not supposed to agree, so he took a sip of his drink as well.

“Glad you could come.” Jessica said, gesturing to Mike.

“Thanks.” Mike answered, before it got awkward, and Mike knew that look by now“I’ll go grab an appetizer.” He said and excused himself.

He made his way over to a table and watched the scene unfold, he couldn’t see what Jessica was saying, but she seemed upset about something and Mike had a feeling it wasn’t something work-related. When she walked away, Harvey downed his drink, ouch.

Mike walked over to him again. “What did I miss?” He asked and Harvey bit the inside of his cheek before answering.

“You wanna get out of here?”

“You sure? I mean…”

“I’ve already shook hands with all the important people.”

Mike smiled “Sure, actually, I wanna show you something.”

“What’s that?” Harvey asked, curiosity clear in his voice as they made their way to the elevator.

“New York.” Mike said with a wink.

**

“I hate to disappoint you, Mike, but I’ve seen New York.” Harvey said “I’d even like to think of myself as somewhat of a local.”

“Oh, please, I’m not talking rushing from place to place, ‘getting the job done’ New York!” Mike said “I want to experience the real deal again.”

“This should be interesting.” Harvey said.

First they went roller blading in the Park, which was fun, but Mike was a little upset that Harvey was actually good at it. Was there anything that man couldn’t do? They grabbed a coffee and made their way to Barnes & Nobles to hear an author speak, that neither of them had even heard of. But according to Mike, that didn’t have to matter.

Then they watched street performers in Washington Square Park, something Harvey had to admit he had not ever taken the time to do. Mike cheered and clapped and Harvey laughed. Even after all this time of knowing the other man, it still made him happy whenever Harvey truly relaxed, it even looked like he was having fun.

“Coney Island?” Harvey asked “Really?”

“Come on!” Mike said as he grabbed Harvey by the wrist, trying to drag him along.

“We need to get it line.”

“You’re not dragging me up in that ferris wheel.”

“Yes, I am.” Mike insisted. Harvey sighed heavily, but followed Mike’s footsteps and headed for the entrance. Apparently, Harvey knew a guy, what a surprise, and they barely had to wait in line, and they got a discount.

“Do you know everybody?” Mike asked as he picked up a teddy bear from the ground that a kid dropped, she thanked him before running off.

“I helped Camden’s sister with a custody case, years ago.” Harvey said “Pro-bono.”

“Off course.” Mike said, he could only imagine the story behind that. Didn’t seem like a case that the firm would normally take, it was probably one where Harvey ended up looking like a softie. Those were Mike’s favorite kind of cases.

Mike had argued and argued over the fact that he wanted to take a red or a blue car, that swung around, because he’d never done it before. Harvey did not cave, and insisted on taking a white. He was still in his suit, even though they had both ditched their jackets and ties.

“I don’t want you throwing up on me.” Harvey said and Mike raised his eyebrows.

“I’m not gonna puke on you.”

“You’ve had a hot dog and cotton candy, no.” Harvey said and in the end, Mike was the one who caved.

“Look, it looks so fun.” Mike pouted as he watched a red car swing back and forth from the “window” of their own car.

“You’re such a baby.” Harvey said, kicking his shin gently.

“Admit it, you had fun today.”

“I did.” Harvey said at once, offering Mike a smile.

“I’m glad.” He said “I like it when you’re happy.” Mike looked down on his shoes then “Do you believe in God?”

“What?” Harvey asked, but then it looked like he realized that that must be sensible question to ask for someone in Mike’s situation. “I don’t know, why?”

“Just thinking, it must be nice, believing that there’s something else out there.” Mike said “Living without fear.”

“What are you afraid of?” Harvey asked then and Mike just snickered.

“No.” he said, and Harvey kept on pushing jokingly.

“Come on, top three.”

“My top three fears, you ask the cancer guy what his top three fears are?”

“Yes, I am.” Harvey stated and Mike chuckled.

“Well…” he began, not really sure himself right now “I’m afraid if I die, the world will be the same.” Harvey looked at him, like he was waiting for him to explain. “I was never in the spotlight, because of my... situation, I don’t have a legacy, my family is gone." He lowered his voice “I’m scared I’ll be forgotten.”

Harvey took his hand then, offering him a smile. Mike could see Harvey swallow heavily, jeez, he never wanted this. He never wanted Harvey to be sad because of him. He was about to pull his hand back when Harvey asked “What else?”

“I worry about who would take my place as your associate.” Harvey actually smiled. “Anything else?”

Mike took a deep breath and just jumped right in there “I’m scared this entire night, my entire life is gonna by, and you’re never gonna kiss me.” Harvey didn’t even hesitate to switch positions in the car so he was sitting next to Mike. He smiled, and grabbed his face and kissed him. To be honest, Mike hadn’t even thought about it before. Okay, that was a lie, of course he’d thought about it. But it wasn’t until these last couple of months that he’d really wanted to, really needed to. He grinned into the kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've never been to New York so i'm not even sure you can do all these things in one day, but.. :)   
> The movie quotes were from Top Gun.


	5. You're my rugged heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am pretty sure I'm gonna have to use the character death warning on this fic. We'll see after the next chapter.

When Mike woke up the next morning, Harvey was already awake and reading a book. The sunlight shined through the window and Mike glanced over at the clock.

“Don’t you have to be at work?” Mike asked and Harvey put away his book and laid down again, to get comfortable next to Mike, resting his head on his elbow.

“Late day.” 

Mike raised his eyebrows, not really buying it.

“I have a meeting at 10, told Louis to cover for me.” Harvey explained.

“Cause you were busy boning your associate, bet he’s gonna love that.” Mike joked and gave Harvey a quick kiss on the lips, before taking a look around “I’ve never been in your bedroom before.”

Harvey followed Mike’s gaze with his own “Never had a reason to before.”

“So…” Mike said as he absent mindedly started stroking Harvey’s arm. “I quit the trial.”

Harvey swallowed “Yes, I know.” He said “Jessica told me.”

“What?” Mike asked, how the hell did Jessica know?

“Your health insurance, she oversees everything, you know, because of the circumstances.” Harvey tried to explain, as calmly as possible.

The circumstances that he wasn’t really suppose to have that health insurance? That this new trial might bring attention to the media that Mike shouldn’t really have?

Mike bit his bottom lip and nodded, Harvey placed a finger under his chin and made him look at him. “Why?”

“Same reason you slept with me, because I want to enjoy quality of life.” Mike explained, hoping that Harvey would understand. The other man had seen the pain and discomfort that treatment had brought to Mike, and it hadn’t exactly improved anything. He had to be a realist about that.

“I don’t want you to-“

“So this was a date, right?” Mike cut him off, he seemed to be doing that a lot lately. 

Harvey laughed “Yeah, it was, but don’t tell Jessica that.”

“She was pissed that you’d brought me, wasn’t she?” Mike asked.

Harvey shook his head “Believe it or not, she cares about you, she’s just worried that I won’t see straight when it comes to all of this.”

“There’s nothing straight about this.” Mike laughed and motioned between them.

Harvey hit him in the head with a pillow and Mike couldn’t stop laughing.

**

The next two week flew by, Mike felt a lot better now that he wasn’t on the treatment, but in the back of his mind, he knew it was just temporary. 

Mike would drop by the office at lunch, some days he would bring coffee for Donna and gossip about the other associates, Mike’s favorite part was hearing about how none of them measured up to Harvey’s expectations. Other days he would bring a lot of Chinese food and the three of them would have lunch together, laughing and reminiscing, none of them mentioning the ‘C’ word. 

When Harvey was working late, Mike and Donna would play monopoly in his office, sometimes Louis would join in. Harvey would either get so annoyed at their commission that he went to work with Jessica in her office, or he would just sigh heavily before putting away whatever he was working on and go join them.   
Mike loved to see Harvey and Louis argue over legal issues whenever one of them landed on another’s hotel. He laughed, and Harvey would kick him under the table, but giving him a warming smile afterwards.

Some nights they would stay on the couch and marathon their favorite 80s movies, and laugh whenever they both quoted something at the same time. Other nights they would go out and get drunk with Louis, Sheila and Donna. Rachel hardly joined them anymore, which Mike tried not to think about.

Somewhere along the way, people noticed that he and Harvey was dating, but surprisingly none of them said anything. 

When the weekend came, they spent almost all of their time together, sometimes they would stay in and Mike would help Harvey on his cases, but most of the time they went out and spent the day together, before going dancing in the old jazz club that Mike loved so much. The night usually ended with one of them in the other one’s bed.

**  
A bunch of them got together one day when Sheila was in town, some friends of hers was also there and they were all having a barbeque. 

“Okay, loverboy.” Donna said as she sat down next to Mike “What do you think.” She said and discreetly nodded her head towards one of the Sheila’s friends, his name was Sam, Mike thought.

“Not bad.” Mike commented and grinned at Donna “Drinks?”

“Dinner and theater.” Donna replied.

“Nice.” Mike said “You’ve got to teach me that superpower of yours.”

Donna scoffed “Oh please, like there’s anything Harvey wouldn’t do for you.” 

Mike didn’t answer.

“Look at them.” Donna said and pointed towards where Rachel and Jason, and Louis and Sheila was standing. Probably discussing Rachel and Jason’s upcoming wedding, and Louis would be giving them pointers on what to do and what not to do. Then they would talk about Sheila and Louis apartment hunting, now that she would finally be moving to New York. They'd already been married for a year, so it was about time.

“Yeah.” Mike said on a breath.  
“  
Actually, Rachel’s life is looking pretty good to me lately.” Donna said, it was meant like a way that she maybe too wanted to slow down and start a family, but when she saw how Mike closed his eyes and took breath she realized that was a stupid thing to say to someone who would never be able to have it. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”

“No, it’s okay.” Mike said, brushing it off. 

“Mike-“

“No, shh…” he said “Really, it’s fine.”

**

That night he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Maybe Louis hadn’t been the only one to live in this fantasy bubble. He was dying, actually dying and he was lying there with Harvey’s arm wrapped around him.   
How could he have been that selfish? Dragging Harvey along to this, he should have distanced himself from them all, making it easier for them to let go, not making it even worse.

He carefully unwrapped himself from Harvey’s arm, careful not to wake him up. He got his clothes, shoes and jacket and headed out the door.

The sun was just starting to rise, when he found a place near the water in the park where he sat down and thought everything over. What he should do, what he shouldn’t do. It was the first time in a while that he actually started to plan ahead.

When he was finally back in his apartment, it was around midday. He was tired and his stomach ached. Mike opened the door to his apartment, only to find Louis standing there, cleaning up Mike's mess. Of course, they got into another argument and Mike slammed the bedroom door in his face.   
Louis had followed him and told him that it could’t hurt to make an effort.

After a few hours of sleep, he was supposed to go to the park, but found himself outside of Rachel’s new apartment. She was grinning as she opened the door, but the smile quickly fell when she saw Mike, like she was expecting someone else.

“Hey.” He said, and she motioned for him to come in.

“Hello, how are you feeling?” She asked, with concern.

Mike heard some commission coming from the living room “You’re having a party?”

She shook her head “No, just some people from my study group.”

Mike looked at her then, all the anger he was feeling lately was just bubbling to the surface “It’s not contagious you know.”

“Of course not.” She said “I’ve just been really busy with class, and the wedding…”

“You’re not too busy for them.” Mike said and pointed towards the living room.

“Mike, that’s different, they-“

“What? They are boring, and not frauds and- and not dying?” 

“Okay.” Rachel said as she looked down to the floor.

“Are you angry because me dying is getting in the way of your wedding?” Mike almost shouted, and Rachel bit her lip, tears welling in her eyes.

“Yeah, Mike.” She said sarcastically “that’s exactly what I’m angry about.” 

Afterwards he went to the park, got a cup of coffee and started walking around, it was a beautiful day, he really wished he could enjoy it more.

“Hey.” A familiar voice said and Mike forced a smile as Harvey caught up to him.

“Louis tell you where I was?”

Harvey nodded “Yeah.”

“Shouldn’t you be at work?” Mike asked, like always, whenever Harvey chose to spend time with him.

“It’s Sunday.” Harvey remarked.

“Oh.” Mike hadn’t really noticed.

“So what was this morning about?” Harvey asked, as they continued to walk alongside the trees in a slow pace. 

“I couldn’t sleep.” Mike replied, and wrapped his hands around himself.

Harvey put his hands in his pockets “Yeah, I gathered that, why?”

“Let’s see….” Mike started “Could be the fact that I’m, you know, dying.” He said harshly.

He could feel Harvey’s eyes on him, he didn’t like it.

“Yeah, okay, maybe I should have helped you-“

“Stop, just stop.” Mike said again, as he tried walking faster to get away from Harvey, knowing full well that it wouldn’t work “I don’t need you to try and save me.”

“Isn’t that what I’m here for? To save your ass?” Harvey asked, trying to be funny, but it wasn’t working. “Look, I know you’re scared, Mike.” He caught up to the other man “It’s fine, it’s normal.”

Mike got all up in his face then “Is it normal for managing partners to screw their associates? We had a good time, let’s just leave it at that.”

“Had? We’re already at past tense here?” Harvey asked, standing still in his place as Mike started walking again. He stopped after a couple of steps and turned around.

“Well, it’s gonna be past tense soon enough, right?” Mike said, a little angry “It’s not like I’m coming back to the office, it never had to be a big deal.”

Harvey walked up to him again then “Mike.” He said softly, and Mike tried his hardest not to look at him, but Harvey grabbed his face, and made him.  
“Mike, I love you.” 

Mike looked down at his feet again then, Harvey’s palms still on his cheek “Great.” He said sarcastically, “You love me.” Mike hated hearing it, because he was so sure that Harvey   
was saying it all out of pity, that everything between them had been out of pity. Harvey had been right, he was always the one to save Mike's ass, and of course he'd kissed him when Mike had wanted him to, because there really wasn't anything Harvey would not do for him. God, he'd been stupid, and so, so selfish. 

Harvey backed away then, biting his lip. 

“What kind of man falls in love with a dying guy?” Mike asked, like it was an accusation. 

Harvey was getting upset too “Don’t diminish what’s going on between us, okay? Cause it’s a lot deeper than these last months, I know what I’m feeling.”

“I do too.” Mike said, bitterly “I’m feeling smothered, so please, back off!”

“Mike-“

“Leave me the hell alone!” Mike shouted then, ignoring the tears that was making their way down his cheeks as he walked away. 

**

Donna was waiting for him outside of his apartment.

“Mike, what’s going on?” She asked.

“Great, let me guess, Harvey texted you.” He said, he was so not in the mood for this right now.

“Of course he did, he’s really worried about you.”

Mike scoffed “Well, a couple of more weeks and I’m out of here.”

“Mike-“

“Should be fun, Harvey and Donna back together again, without the stupid puppy to get in the way of the inseparable duo that can’t seem to keep their mouth shut.” 

Mike was pretty sure that if he wasn’t dying, Donna would have slapped him. Instead, he slammed the door in her face.


	6. You're the pulse that i've always needed

_“Grammy?” Mike asked as he took a look around, was he standing on clouds? “Where are we? Oh god, I’m dead now, aren’t I?”_

_“Maybe.” His grandmother answered cheekily. “Whatcha going to do about it?”_

_“I’m scared.” He said._

_“Of what?” His grandmother asked “Of dying? Michael, everybody dies.”_

_“I didn’t have enough time to do all the things I wanted to do.” Mike explained._

_“Like what?”_

_“Make partner!” Mike said “Get a dog!”_

_His grandmother laughed._

_“Find somebody who loves me.”_

_“You had that, Mike.” Edit said “You screwed it up.”_

_“Rachel was the one who-“_

_“I’m not talking about Rachel.” Mike sighed and closed his eyes._

_“He probably said all that stuff because he felt sorry for me.”_

_“Harvey Specter does not strike me as a man who loved you out of pity.”_

_“He’s got these issues, you should have seen how his relationship with Scottie was.”_

_“Shut up, Mike, I don’t care about his issues.”_

_“Grammy!” Mike gasped._

_“I’m dead, what are you going to do?” She said with a smile and took his hand “Do you love him?”_

_Mike didn’t answer._

_“Do you love him?”_

_He smiled “I do, I love him.”_

_“Then go and tell him.”_

_Mike scoffed “I can’t tell him, I’m dead.”_

_“No, you dumbass, you’re just dreaming.”_

_“What?” Mike asked “You could have told me that!”_

_“It’s your dream!”_

Mike awoke with a gasp. He had a pounding headache, his stomach was sore, and he felt better than he had in the last couple of days. He smiled as he jumped out of bed.

He took a cab to Pearson Specter, and went into the building. It was an understatement to say he got a few weird looks when he showed up there in his sweatpants and a hoodie. He probably looked like he was back to smoking weed. And god, hadn’t that been hard to resist after he got sick. He almost jogged up to Harvey’s office.

“Hey, can I-“ Was all he said as he brushed past Donna and made his way in to the office.

“Hey.” He said as he slumped down in the chair in front of Harvey’s desk.

“Hello.” Harvey said surprised.

“Can I talk to you?”

“Shoot.” Harvey said.

“Okay, so.” Mike said and straightened up in his chair like he was pitching a proposal for the company or something. “Ever since Rachel I’ve kind of had this fear about relationships, and because of my folks and grammy, you know, I’ve had this feeling that people always leave.”

“Okay.”

Mike smiled “But then there’s you, with your ‘can-do’ attitude and your movie quotes and the whole ‘never give up’ thing.”

Harvey cocked his head to the side, smiling slightly at him.

“And you never left.” Mike said “When I was an ass after my grandmother died, you were right there with beer and weed.”

“Yeah, let’s not mention that in the office.”

“Right, sorry, and when I screwed up with Jessica; you took me back. When Louis found out about my secret; you stuck by me the whole time and was willing to sacrifice everything for me, and you do this time and time again and I just-“ Mike realized he may have been talking too fast and it may have heard like he was rambling. “But since that’s the way it’s always been, you can see how I could have missed it now.” Mike finished.

Harvey looked just as confused as ever, but then Mike got up from his chair and dragged him to the corner of the office, out of the way from peeking eyes and kissed him hard on the lips. Harvey’s arm found it’s way around his waist, and Mike grinned into the kiss “I love you”

“Ditto.” Harvey said with a grin.

“Ghost, really?” Mike asked “Little inappropriate, huh?”

Harvey just laughed and Mike was so grateful for that, that he decided to kiss him again.

“Stay here today.” Harvey said “You can help me with my cases, come up with some witty one-liners to save your ass.”

“I’d love to.” Mike said “But there’s something I have to do today.” Harvey nodded in understanding and gave him one more quick kiss.

 

**

 

He was able to catch Louis on his way out of the office. “Can I join you?” he asked as Louis was about to get into his car.

“You don’t know where I’m going.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

Louis sighed “Jump in.”

After driving for a couple of minutes, Mike gave a “Hope it’s cool, dude,” before pushing the button, to get the glass that would separate them from the driver up.

“Don’t call my driver, ‘dude’.” Louis remarked and Mike just smiled at him.

“I’m sorry that I lied to you.” Mike said and Louis looked at him.

“What?”

“The whole ‘not going to Harvard thing’.” Mike said, like it was completely obvious.

“I’m over it.”

“Please, you’ll never be over it.” He could still remember the look on his face when he’d found out, the anger, the embarrassment, the disappointment. “Remember that time when you made me smoke weed to get that client?” Mike asked “and you tried to trick me with those drug tests?”

“Yep.” Louis said.

“You’ve been a real shit a bunch of times.” Mike said “But still, never a big a shit as me.”

Louis sighed “You’re not a shit, Mike.”

“Nah, you’re just saying that because I’m dying.” Mike said “I’m sorry you can’t tell Sheila, I know that must suck for you.”

“Harvey pretty much begged me before my wedding never to tell her.” Louis said “Hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

“She loves you, I know she’d never do anything to compromise you.” He said “You can tell her if you like.”

“A little too late, don’t you think?” Louis asked. Mike just nodded, maybe he was right, but people who loved each other shouldn’t keep secrets. He never should have messed everything up the way he had.

“You could tell her at my funeral?” Mike suggested “She can’t get pissed at you there.”

“Mike, for god’s sake.” Louis said and dragged a palm across his face.

“Louis, will you handle my estate?” Mike asked “And help me plan my funeral?”

Louis took a breath and glanced at him “What about Harvey?”

“I want you to do it, you’ll make sure everything turns out the way I want it.” He said “You’d have to ask Donna for some pointers on the funeral though, cause I want it to be like, a celebration.”

“Sure.” Louis said.

“I also want you because you’ll be able to do this without getting emotionally compromised.”

Louis wetted his lips “Gotta be honest with you, might have a little problem with that on this one.”

Mike smiled “You can do it.” He said “Captain, my captain.”

Louis chocked back a sob and nodded. Mike smiled comfortingly at him and gently squeezed his arm.

 

**

 

“So, listen.” Mike said as he caught Donna coming out of her yoga glass. “You’ve been a real bitch lately.”

Donna smiled knowingly at him “Oh, I have, have I?”

“Yeah, really mean and really ugly and I don’t appreciate it at all.” Mike said “I don’t care how fabulous you are, that’s no way to treat your friends.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. “Mike said “I have done nothing but support you through this so-called difficult time and you’ve just been a jerk.”

“It has been hard.” Donna admitted with a grin.

“You’ve been so annoying with your complaining about you being sick, but you know what makes me really angry, it’s the fact that I’m really gonna miss you.” Mike sniffed “So much.”

Donna bit the inside of her cheek and nodded, before wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him so tight that it was both the worst and the best feeling in the world.

 

**

 

“Do you wanna call Trevor?” Harvey asked that evening when they were curled up together on the couch, watching The Breakfast Club. Mike took a deep breath and wrapped his blanket more tightly around himself

“No.”

“You sure?” Harvey asked.

“You hate him, don’t do this.” Mike said, but snuggled closer to Harvey who kissed his hair.

“I do, but maybe it would be good for you.”

“We haven’t talked in years, I really don’t want to.” Mike said and Harvey nodded.

“Okay then.” He said, and went quiet, too quiet.

Mike sighed “What?”

“There’s someone else you might consider talking to again.” Mike sighed again

“I hate you.”

 

Harvey kissed him.

 

**

Harvey had taken out some sick days to spend with Mike, which he really appreciated and Jessica had even said to take as much time off as he needed. She and Louis covered all his cases, which was a lot of work, but Harvey and Mike were both grateful for it.

“Come on.” Harvey urged as they stood parked outside of Rachel and Jason’s apartment. Mike nodded quietly as he got out of the door car and made his way to the door. He knocked three times, no answer. He leaned against the door.

“Rachel!” he shouted. Still no answer.

He was about to give up, before knowing one more time and saying “Rachel, I know you’re in there, so I’m just gonna say what I came here to say, okay?”

“I’m sorry.” He said “It hurt when you started distancing yourself, but it’s okay, I get it.” Mike leaned his head against the door and took a breath.

“I remember you telling me, when Louis had a heart attack, that I was never allowed to, and I'm really sorry that I'm sick... You’re graduating soon, you’re getting married, it’s not fair having to be so happy and so sad at the same time, is it?”

When he first started pouring his heart out, it was difficult to stop.

“You are one of the best things that ever happened to me, and in case Jason is in there listening as well, I just want to point out that I don’t mean all the great sex we used to have.” He could have sworn he heard a dry laugh. “And I’m really sorry I’m not going to be able to make it to your wedding, but please, just promise me that it’ll be the happiest day of your life, okay?” Mike said “And when you two have perfectly proportioned kids, maybe you could mention me?”

He was sure he could hear sobbing now “Okay, I love you, bye.” He said and stroked the edge of the door before walking back over to the car.

Harvey took his hand and kissed his knuckles. “You sure you wanna do this?”

Mike grinned “Yeah.”

They went back to Coney Island, to the Wonder Wheel, this time they rode on a red car. Mike was laughing and yelling whenever there was a drop and Harvey would grin as well, and kiss his cheek. It was much better than Mike thought it would be.

They had a lunch at a food truck near the park, and Mike smiled as he saw an old couple walking hand in hand.

“Hey, what are you gonna do after I’m gone?” Mike asked and Harvey was suddenly very focused on his food. “Come on, you told me I had to confront my feelings or whatever.” Mike reminded him and Harvey cleared his throat.

“I don’t like thinking about it.”

“I need to know that you’re gonna be okay.” Mike said and Harvey actually chuckled, before Mike reached across the picnic table and took his hand.

“So?”

“I just, it’s going to be…” Harvey couldn’t finish his sentence.

“Do you think it would have been easier if we’d never started dating?” Mike asked “I guess it was kind of selfish of me.”

“Hey.” Harvey said “It’s not selfish to be happy, and I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Mike still waited for him to answer the question.

“No, I don’t think it would have been easy either way.”

“You know, Harvey, you have this amazing life.” Mike said “And I know you said that people don’t leave you, and I’m really sorry that I have to.”

Harvey swallowed and stroked Mike's knuckles with his thumb “I don’t want you to.”

Mike gave him a comforting smile “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, he's gonna die isn't he?


	7. Like a drum baby, don't stop beating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THERE IS MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH- YOU WILL NOTICE HOW I CHANGED THE TAGS. I WILL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING IN THE END OF THE CHAPTER NOTES, SO PLEASE READ THAT.

Mike awoke with a gasp. He noticed he was sweating, his t-shirt was clutching to his skin, he was uncomfortable and he was in pain. He tried to control his breathing, but it didn’t help. Harvey had woken up too, and was rubbing his forehead with his thumb and kissing his shoulder. It was a comfort, but to be honest, Mike barely noticed.

He spent the next few days in his bed. Someone would always be there with him, to make sure he was as comfortable as possible, to help him to the bathroom when he needed, and to give him water when he was thirsty.

On the third day, Rachel showed up and she sat by his bed and studied for her finals. Mike smiled at her whenever he woke up. Harvey would just lay there and hold his hand, Louis would read the paper to him, Sheila would go through applications, Donna would catch him up on office gossip. Dying wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be.

In the end, he did call Trevor to catch him up on the situation, Harvey’s PI was able to get his phone number. They talked for four hours, and Trevor said he’d come back down to New York. He was almost crying at the end of the conversation and Mike was really glad that Harvey had convinced him to call. 

He was tired of lying in bed and he convinced Donna to take him outside to the park down the street one day. With a blanket wrapped safely around him, as it was starting to get cold outside, he felt slightly safer. Donna sat down on the ground next to his wheelchair and commented on the people jogging by.

“Hey, Donna.”

“Hm?”

“Thank you for saving me.” She looked at him, clearly confused

“What are you talking about?”

“I keep thinking about how Harvey is the best thing that ever happened to me, how he changed my life for the better.” Donna nodded in understanding. “But you were the one who got me into that interview, if it had been any other secretary they would have thrown me out, and god knows where I’d been now.” Mike said “You saved my life.”

Donna let a tear escape her eye then, but quickly wiped it away. “You were worth it.” She said “I wish I could do it again.”

“No need.” Mike said “I got what I wanted… Except a dog.”

Donna laughed at him before she grabbed Mike’s hand “Are you scared?”

“No.” Mike whispered “Not anymore.”

After a little while, Mike’s hand went a little limp and Donna looked up at him, his eyes closed. “Mike?” She asked, but no reponse. She stated weeping “Mike.” She asked and stroked his cheek.

He was brought to the hospital in an ambulance. They all came, and stood by his bedside. Just watching him. His eyes were closed, none of them said anything. Trevor was still on his plane.

Harvey had been in a meeting and had missed the call, so he had hurried to the hospital as soon as he’d gotten the message Mike had left on his voice mail.

_Hey you, it’s me. God, this is much more difficult than I thought it would be. Here goes nothing, you, Harvey Specter, are without a doubt the best thing to ever happen to me._

He parked illegally out front and ran up the stairs, not bothering to wait for the elevator.

 _Cause you helped me become the person I always imagined myself to be. You deserve more credit than that though, because before you believed in me, I had no idea who I could be_.

When he got there Mike was awake, and gave him a weak, but warm smile as he entered the room.

_Do me a favor, okay? Try to fall in love again, I know it hasn’t worked out too well for you, but it’s all worth it isn’t it? Well, just know, that I love you._

Harvey grabbed his hand and stroked his forehead “I love you.” He whispered. Mike smiled at him, closed his eyes and just like that, he was gone.

**

_So that’s my story. It’s pretty exciting right? And didn’t I have the most amazing friends? Here’s the thing, there was a time when I would never include some of my friends on that list. I have blamed a lot of them for a lot of my mistakes. I was scared to forgive, I was scared to trust. I was scared I wasn’t good enough. Thank god for my friends, and thank god for Harvey. Cause it turns out, I was. I was enough. My funeral was just the way I wanted it. A celebreation. They cheered with champagne and celebrated my life. Trevor and Jenny showed up, and Harvey welcomed them. Good for them. My friends, those closest to me, even jokingly celebrated how they had gotten away with my fraud, well, what can you do?_

_But what I would give, to just feel one more time, that incredible sensation when Harvey looked at me and I felt – alive._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you commented that I had not included the "death" tag, which is true. BUT as I said in the notes in the first chapter, you needed to prepare yourself. I did that to avoid spoilers, and most importantly, because I did not know how I was going to end my story. Those of you who have seen the movie though should not be surprised, this is how it ends.  
> A lot of you also said that it was not necessary for me to kill him off, that he could find some miracle cure or something. The problem is that he went off the trial, he was no longer seeing his doctors and was ready to die. It would not make any sense that he would suddenly recover as I wanted this story to be realistic, not another fairytale.  
> I am sorry if some of you are upset, but Mike was prepared to die, he got closure with all his friends and family and I felt it was a good ending that was worthy of the characters and relationships in the story.   
> Please don't hate you, I didn't mean to "trick" you. As a writer, i felt this was the best ending. I love you all, thanks for sticking with me.


End file.
